I had the most heart wrenching dream yesterday morning. I was at home on my bed cuddling with my dog lily, who passed away recently. What made it horrible was the fact that I was completely aware that it was a dream. My mom came in to the room in my dream, and I told her I had to soak up every moment with lily because I knew she was already gone (in real life). Needless to say, I was sobbing in the dream, and woke up sobbing. It was spooky how real the dream felt. I’ve been missing her so much, much more than I ever imagined I would. I knew she was old. But it’s so unreal to not have her in my world anymore.
n. the awareness of the smallness of your perspective, by which you couldn’t possibly draw any meaningful conclusions at all, about the world or the past or the complexities of culture, because although your life is an epic and unrepeatable anecdote, it still only has a sample size of one, and may end up being the control for a much wilder experiment happening in the next room.
How do adults make new friends? Like seriously? Real friends that share your sense of humor and like similar activities, that can like, actively participate in your life and help make you a better person? I don’t even talk to at least 90% of my “friends” on Facebook, and the few that I do see/communicate with on a regular basis are kinda shitty.. Other friends that I used to be close with live far away and have whole other lives. Too bad I’m so horrible at being a loner. Oh well.
Yo listen up, here’s the story about a little boy in a yarn world and all day and all night everything was yarn like him, inside and outside.
Handmade crochet wearable works of art created with care in a smoke and pet free environment.
He’s got a wedding to pay for y’all. So help a brother (and me) out by checking out the shop and sharing if you’d like…Jarissa certainly doesn’t mind.
1. When a boy who leaves goosebumps on every inch of your skin tries to play you his favorite song, don’t let him. He’ll get it stuck in your head and under your fingertips and when he leaves, you won’t be able to listen to it without feeling like you’re choking.
2. Don’t let him touch you all over no matter how much you want to feel him against you. Leave a few spots untouched so that when you’re sleeping alone again, at least your left wrist and an inch of your right hip won’t sting with the remaining burn of his mouth.
3. Don’t let him break your ribs.
4. Don’t watch the sunset with him. He’ll poison it. You won’t be able to look at the sky without swallowing a mouthful of him.
5. Don’t mistake wasps for butterflies. Sometimes when you feel your stomach flutter and your hands start to shake it’s pain, not love.
6. Just because he tells you he loves you doesn’t mean he’s going to stay.
7. It’s okay to delete his number after he kisses the pretty girl he met when he was drunk. It’s okay to leave when he hurts you. You don’t have to keep falling into him.
8. When he tells you that you’re beautiful, try to remember that you were beautiful before him too.
9. Just because he reads and smokes cigarettes and talks about the stars doesn’t mean he’s your soulmate.
10. After you kiss him, remember to wash your mouth out right away so he doesn’t burn into your tongue.
11. He’ll kiss you in the rain and take you to little coffee shops. He’ll brush your hair out of your eyes and kiss your nose. He’ll grab your waist and whisper in your ear but six months later you’ll find yourself drunk texting him that you miss him and he won’t respond.
12. Your heart is going to break a million times. It’s going to feel like the world is falling apart around you. Your lungs will stop working some nights. You find yourself grabbing at your bones trying to hold yourself together. You’re going to feel like you’re dying. It’s going to be okay. You’ll find someone else to kiss you goodnight.
Improving my living situation. Whether by moving out to a new place, or getting one roommate in particular to move out. This is tough bc this particular roommate is a friend who is semi-dependent on me. And so I feel incredibly guilty about not wanting to live with this person. And I do not want anything bad to happen to this person as a result. Very sticky situation.
MONEY. To move. To pay off my credit cards and bills. To get a tattoo. To spend on other people.
Daydreaming about having a job that I enjoy. Like working for the county doing GIS, or opening a group class fitness studio.
A boy that I really really like and want to be with all the time and kiss all the time. Why do I really like him? I dont know. So terribly afraid he is going to hurt me. Because I worry. Its what I do.
Puppies. Want. The end.
Just now I was trying to rank these things in order of most important… and its very difficult. Because I really want things to work out with this boy, and I really want money and a happy job and a peaceful happy clean home, and I really want a puppy. I want it all. Equally as much as the last. Dammit.
It would be me and him. Some one who puts up with my bullshit and occasional neuroses, and I’d put up with his. I’d do nice things for him and he’d do nice things for me. Once in a while we cry on each other’s shoulders. We could live in a cute little house and have a dog or two, who we would take on peaceful, leisurely walks with us. We would share friends, but still have our own. We would sit and do nothing together. And we would go places and have new experiences together. We’d have just as much of an emotional connection as we do physical.
“Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.”—The Little Prince (via caches)